Wednesday, 17 September 2008

I'm in the undergrowth

I'm really busy at the moment helping a friend who is letting out her house. The last tenant left it in a disgusting condition and the garden looks like a jungle......and I don't mean one of those elegant tropical gardens. So with machete, secateurs and loppers in hand I'm going to try and make it resemble a garden again. I shall return if some wild animal doesn't get me first....lol
tiger

Meanwhile....though being homeless is no laughing matter but I couldn't help giggling at this;

I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of pounds for dinner.

I took out my purse, got out ten pounds and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'

'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.

'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.'

'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.

'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'

The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

7 comments:

CG said...

I loved that joke :)
Good luck in the jungle - if anyone can tame it, it's you!

Akelamalu said...

LOL that's a cracker Ruth, I must remember to tell MWM!

Libbys Blog said...

Great to see you back! Love the story. Wishing you lots of luck with your course at Uni and finding a lodger etc.
They don't make it easy for you do they!! It really annoys me when looking after Mick as you did (I know you wouldn't have allowed anyone else to care for him) must have saved the government thousands of pounds and they can't even help you out with something like this!!

Anonymous said...

Just stumbled across this blog, read the first post and loved it! that's a really good one!!! lol

tsduff said...

That was hilarious. Had me going for a minute or two :)

Gledwood said...

I lurve that homeless joke. Very true

come back Ruth, come back please we still miss you!!!

xx

eda said...

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